My Relationship is Falling Apart. What Now?

Here are books I recommend for healing. They help countless people every day.

Back in the day, things were far more simple. You’d show someone how much they mean to you if you wanted to remain with them. Today is relatively similar. Except, every now and then relationships start to fall apart without further notice.

#1: Stop being clingy or needy

Learn to stop being clingy. Believe it or not, everyone needs space. How do you fix a relationship? Here is step one: giving space in a relationship is important. Being too clingy can become a problem, especially when the intentions aren’t reciprocated. For women, this is a lot harder. As a result, I’m going to tailor this to the masses.

  • How to stop being a clingy girlfriend. If you find yourself being a clingy girlfriend, all is not lost. Try to keep some space between you and your significant other. The most important step is recognizing that this is happening. Once you get that out of the way, you need to find steps to stop being a clingy girlfriend. Perhapshang out with friends. If you don’t have friends, find friends.
  • How to not be needy in relationships. Being needy is almost the same thing as being clingy. Except, there’s a small difference. Being needy in a relationship needs you frequently need intervention from your significant other. This is almost as bad as working a job and constantly contacting your manager because you don’t know how to do your job.

Back off, recoup, and try to not be so clingy or needy. Understand that your partner needs to also breathe. If you can do this, you should be fine.

#2: Learn to Listen

  • Listen to your heart. Sometimes the root of the problem is you’re not listening to what your heart is telling you. Listening your heart entails to listening to the feeling you have in your chest. When in love, there are some things only the heart can answer. We may try to figure things out with our mind, but that doesn’t necessarily get you anywhere when the situations speaks the language of the heart.
  • Listen to your body. How do you feel? Anxious? Excited? You need to listen to your body. Sometimes, there are hints in the making. For example, if you are feeling physically hurt, you’d know what to do.
  • Listen to your gut. When listening to your heart and your body doesn’t suffice, listen to the 6th sense – the gut. What do you feel your gut feeling is telling you? Should you run? Should you stay? Learn to listen to your gut and you’ll get out of a lot of situations in good timing.
  • Listen to your conscience. Let’s be practical, here. That’s what your conscious would say, right? In the world of logic, there is no room for emotion. You need to do things right and it has to be calculated. The results have to be efficient, even. There’s no time to lose. Learn to listen to your mind – your conscious – and you’ll win a logical victory.
  • Listen to your eyes. Look at the situation and be real to yourself. What is going on? Are you doing something? Is your significant other doing something? How are things going? Why are there broken glass on the floor? Learn to use your eyes in conjunction with your other senses. Come on, snap out of it and get back to the root of the problem. Sometimes, when we are stuck in our feels, in our mind, we become trapped from our own visuals. We see the problem in front of us, but we don’t know what to do. Because, we lost touch of our human side.
  • Listen to your mom. Let’s be real, mother knows best. Listen to your mother. She may have advice you did not foresee. It’s important to have a second opinion.
  • Listen to your parents. Speaking of second opinions, ask your parents. Go far enough to ask what family members and friends think of a situation. You’ll start noticing a trend. And, it’ll become easier for you to understand your given situation and why the relationship is falling apart. Keep listening to your parents and you’ll start to notice more clarity when you’re tackling on harder situations.
  • Listen to your spouse. This is usually the second most difficult part of being in a failing relationship. Listening to your spouse is important. However, what if your spouse – your significant other – doesn’t want to talk to you or listen to you? This causes problems. Not only do you want to listen to your spouse, there could be problems in the way that stop the communication. Either way, you’re going to have to find out what your spouse is feeling. And this is a really important step but not the most important. Try your best to listen to your spouse.
  • Listen to yourself. At last, the most important step of listening: listening to yourself. You may listen to other people as much as you want. However, what’s more important is how the situation is making you feel as a person. Do you feel safe? Does it feel like this relationship isn’t working anymore? Do you sense there is a way to refresh this relationship and fix things? It’s your call, listen to yourself. Learn to figure out how you feel. For the majority of people that are stuck in toxic relationships, they don’t acknowledge how important their own considerations truly are. Keep listening in and you’ll find the way.

As you can see, learning to listen has many steps. There are countless variations to listening and you must learn to master them all to tame the beast inside yourself. Once you may do that you’ll find greater transparency in your relationship. Let’s just hope it’s that easy to begin with, as some relationships may be trickier.

#3: Don’t Step on My Toes

It’s incredible how many couples don’t understand how important it is to stop stepping on each other’s toes. They’ll continue to make the same mistakes and upset each other. After, they’ll blame each other for getting upset. As a result, things will begin to spiral out of control.

This is more common than you think. I’m sure you’ve had experiences like these – I know I have. And it’s relatively easy to fix.

The fix is this: be nicer. Be gentle. Stop being a jerk. Understand everyone has feelings. Learn to stop stepping on everyone’s toes and you should be good to go here.

#4: What to Do when you feel disrespected in a relationship

The meaning of disrespect is a lack of respect or courtesy. To define disrespect clearly, imagine there are rules in place for traffic. However, there is this one person that doesn’t want to follow the rules. This is the disrespect definition.

The definition of disrespect in a relationship is similar. It’s when one partner, or even both, aren’t respectful or courteous to each other. This could happen for a multitude of reasons. But, in general, this is usually the leading cause for break ups coming faster than they should.

There is also a clear definition of disrespectful behavior, which is when your behavior has no respect or courtesy for your significant other. This could be in the way you or your partner fails to acknowledge you have feelings. Sometimes one of the partners doesn’t want to listen to the other person and purposely walks away from the situation. All of these are important to understand, comprehend, acknowledge, and identify.

What is respect in a relationship?

Curious of the definition of respect in a relationship? Here are some respect in a relationship examples:

  • Treating each other well. This is the base of respect in a relationship.
  • Respect and value each other’s opinions and feelings. It’s common for partners to not acknowledge one’s feelings as good enough. It’s increasingly more common for a partner to believe their own feelings and opinions are greater than the other. This is not respect in a relationship. In fact, it’s not good for the relationship at all.
  • Fighting fair. Arguments happen all the time. This is inevitable. It’s very well known that opposites attract in relationships. As a result, due to the laws of chemistry, there is bound to be issues here and there. Don’t be surprised. Rather, learn to fight fair. Learn to do things right and don’t let things go out of control. Try to be nice, and learn to lose. Winning all of the time isn’t good for anyone. If you try to win, you’ll feel good about winning. But later, you’ll realize you didn’t win at all.
  • Hold them in high regard through your actions, behaviors, and words. With the way you behave, do, and speak, show them that you care. Show them that you’re not more important than they are. Show them you care about how they feel, how they live, and how they appear. Hold them high in your heart and in your mind by showing the respect in the relationship.
  • Feeling of deep admiration for others. Same as the last point. If you learn to deeply admire others, good things will happen. This is essential.
  • Listen attentively to your partner’s needs, desires, and concerns. Put your phone away when you’re listening to your partner. Your partner has something important to say. If you start to think in this way, you’ll listen to everything and there will never be a moment of silence.

What is disrespect in a relationship?

  • Nagging. Constantly harassing someone to do something.
  • Criticism. The expression of disapproval based on perceived faults or mistakes.
  • Stonewalling. When someone completely shuts down in a conversation or refuses to interact with another person.
  • Lying. Not telling the truth.
  • Put downs. Remark intended to humiliate or criticize someone.
  • Pressuring each other. To pressure to do what others are doing.
  • Disloyalty. Quality of not being loyal to a person.
  • Threats to end the relationship or marriage. Being told to take a hike because the relationship is hitting the fan.

What to do when you feel disrespected in a relationship

If you’re feeing disrespected in a relationship, here are a few things you can do:

  • Ask spouse to hear you out. Usually the first thing on anyone’s list to do. Avoid statements like “you never”, “you always”, “you should”. Rather, focus on specific actions and how they made you feel. This is important.
  • Open up to understanding your own feelings. You need to understand how you’re feeling. Otherwise, it’s difficult to comprehend how the disrespect is making you feel. Once you have a hitlist of reasons to talk to your spouse, talk. But don’t let any of these feelings control you. That means game over.
  • Be open to spouse’s perspective. Keep an open mind. Don’t close yourself up and assume your spouse is always wrong. Sometimes, you’re wrong. And there’s no avoiding the situation – not even with a closed mind. Learn to keep looking for the answer, even if it hurts.
  • Seek support from friends and family. Sometimes, there is no obvious answer. It’s perfectly ok to outsource support with friends and family. Eventually, you’ll find the strength in knowledge to come back and tackle the problems with your spouse. Just make sure to do it as soon as possible.

#5: Stop Being Too Much

What does annoying mean

Annoying means you’re irritating. Simple as that. When you’re annoying, you don’t know your limits. You’ll constantly irritate the person. This behavior is infuriating. Maddening, even.

What does obnoxious mean?

If you continue to be annoying and irritating, you’ll reach to a new high called obnoxious. Now, you are extremely unpleasant. This is an extreme case where nobody appreciates what you’re doing. In relationships, this usually means they want to stay away from you. There are a number of reasons one may find you obnoxious.

I don’t wanna be annoying

Recognizing you’re annoying or obnoxious is the first place to start for a lot of people. This is how change may happen. Once you’ve understood what you’re doing subconsciously and consciously, you may look into further steps to harness this new hidden power of yours.

How not to annoy someone

There are lots of ways to not annoy someone anymore.

  • Check yourself. What are you doing? Think about how you’re making others feel. Ensure that your actions are appropriate for the given situation.
  • Stop focusing. Try to allow your high energy to settle down. Don’t worry too much about what you were focusing on. Start trying to be passive.
  • Think about tone. Tone tends to get on another’s nerves faster than anything else. They may not like your tone of voice. They perhaps feel you’re always nagging and attacking. They may even label you as annoying or obnoxious. These are tall-tale signs you’re doing something wrong and need to find amends fast.
  • Distract yourself. Helpful when you’re too focused on something that is annoying for other parties.
  • Ask trusted people about your communication style. Increasingly important to always improve yourself. Don’t be afraid to ask your most trusted people how they feel about your style of projecting your thoughts, feelings, and whatnot. Perhaps you need to tone it down to a level much more acceptable in today’s standings.
  • Take time to process. Process these feelings that you have. Learn to cope with how you feel and what you feel. Doing this will ensure that the next interaction between you and your person won’t feel like lashing out or obnoxious foul play.

#6: Comfort

Learn to comfort your partner. We’re not sure how they’re feeling in the moment. But it’s important to learn to comfort the person.

#7: Don’t Be Pushy

Try to not become pushy.

#8: Don’t Overwhelm Your Love

Timing is everything. Careful on when and how you fire your thoughts and feelings towards your significant other.

#9: Adapt to Your Partner’s Needs

Compromise in a relationship is everything. In the case distance is an issue, learn to deal with it.

#10: Pay Attention to Their Life

Pay attention to your loved one. Observe how that person is feeling. Perhaps they’re tired from work. Offer a way to ease the stress and pain. Do something nice for that person. Tend to their needs. Offer a drink. Quality of life improves when you pay attention to the small things.

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